General Forum

A lovely lady walked into a classy bar and sat near an old man because he looked very innocent and she did not want to socialize that night.

She had on a sleeveless top and when she ordered her first drink she showed a lot of hair under the arm.

Before she ordered her second drink the old man said to the bartender please give this ballerina another drink on me.

The same thing happened on the third and fourth and the bartender leaned over to the man and asked him \"How did you know she was really a ballerina?\"

He answered \"you dont live this long without finding out ballerinas can kick so high with such ease\".

It was always a mystery for me, why girls are so afraid of becoming adult ? Why they think that when they are over 20 (ok, over 23-25), they will be hopelessly old ??? And i'm not saying about 40 !
I think every age has it's own advantages (just like disadvantages). And this age, over 23-24, has a certain charme. It's the age when a girl is called a Young Woman. Yes, she's still young, but already a woman! She already has some experience in life, she's confident and sure in her beauty and intelligence. She knows what she wants from life and people. She is ablolutely sexy and attractive. And she knows how to enjoy the life and how to give her love and care to her dear ones. She's strong and has all her life in front of her. It's a great time for every woman. And I dont' know why 17 is considered to be the best really.
Girls, dont' be afraid of going through all your life. If you are kind, loving and can enjoy the life, you will look great always, in any age !!!
Good luck !

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Did I make it onto the list of bad members ?

Please say I did as it has been what I have been working towards all my life and just once it would be nice if dreams did come true :)

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i need to find lana and marry her

As some of you know, last week end I suffered a (Very Mild) Heart Attack. I asked my eldest son to post to everyone on my Yahoo Friends and Family list, that I had suffered a NON fatal heart attack. Unfortunately, in his haste, he left out the NON, and this caused a fair amount of consternation. It also 'outed' me as the boyfriend of freeda, much, I would imagine, to her embarrassment.
I would like to thank all those who sent condolences and good wishes, and appologies to those who made light of my problem, that it was no joke. At the time it was very painful, very frightening and very worrying. I know some of you have, and will agree, it is not something to wish upon anybody. No, Bebe, I have not come back a month later with a new nick. Yes, I can see the funny side of some of the comments, and I cannot even begin to imagine how hurt some people might have been. Once again, A BIG THANKYOU, to all those I hope I can call 'Friend'. Family do not count, as far as I know, none of them even know about CC. And, no, my Son and I do not visit the same host at the same time. As one wise person pointed out, you do not have to be a member to have Yahoo. I think I have rambled on enough, hope to see some of you in commchat in the near future, but no vids for quite some time, Doctors orders - NO excitement. ;-)

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Claim you were a Christmas tree in your former life. If s/he tries to bring one into the room, scream bloody murder.
Go to the mall with your roommate and sit on Santa's lap. Refuse to get off.
Wear a Santa suit all the time. Deny you're wearing it.
Sit in a corner in the fetal position rocking back and forth chanting, "Santa Claus is coming to town, Santa Claus is coming to town..."
Hang mistletoe in the doorway. When your roommate enters or leaves the room, plant a wet one on his/her lips.
Hang a stocking with your roommates name on it. Collect coal and sharp objects in it. If s/he asks, say "you've been very naughty this year."
Paint your nose red and wear antlers. Constantly complain about how you never get to join in on the reindeer games.
Make conversation out of Christmas Carols. (I.E. "You know, I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus underneath the mistletoe last night.")
Wrap yourself in Christmas lights and roll around in the snow.
Sing: "All I want for Christmas is my roommate's two front teeth..."
Give your roommate the gifts from the twelve days of Christmas song.
Build a snowperson with your roommate and place a hat on its head. When it doesn't come to life, cry hysterically "it didn't work!"
Whip your roommate screaming "now Dasher, now Dancer, now Donner, and Blitzen,etc."
Tear down all your roommate's Christmas decorations yelling "Bah Humbug!"
Wake up every morning screaming "Ghost of Christmas Future, please have mercy on my soul!"
Tell your roommate you're moving out. Santa's buying you a house on 34th Street.
Pin a poinsettia to your lapel.
Make anatomically correct gingerbread people and eat the best parts first.
Put on a fake white beard and insist that all your roommate's friends "give it a yank."
Ring jingle bells maniacally saying "every time a bell rings an angel gets his wings."
Stand in front of the mirror reciting "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" over and over in your underwear.
Smoke mistletoe. Do what comes naturally.
Watch your roommate when s/he is sleeping. When s/he wakes up sing, "he sees you when you're sleeping..."
Steal a life size nativity scene and display it in your room. When your roommate asks, tell him/her "I had to let them stay here, there's no room at the inn."
When your roommate goes to the bathroom, rearrange his/her possessions. Tell him/her that Santa's elves must have done it.
Courtesy of Comic Relief.

CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL THE KIDS WHO WERE BORN IN THE
1930's 40's, 50's, 60's and 70’s!!
First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us.
They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes.
Then after that trauma, our baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead-based paints.
We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking.
As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags.
We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.
We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this.
We ate cakes, white bread and real butter and drank pop with sugar in it, but we weren't overweight because......
WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!!
We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.
No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K.
We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.
We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 99 channels on cable, no video tape movies, no surround sound, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet or Internet chat rooms..........WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!
We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no
lawsuits from these accidents.
We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.
We made up games with sticks and tennis balls and although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.
We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just yelled for them!
Football teams had trials and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!
The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!
This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever!
The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.
We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned
HOW TO
DEAL WITH IT ALL!
And YOU are one of them!

CONGRATULATIONS!
You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated our lives for our own good.
And while you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave their parents were.
Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it?!
PS -The big type is because your eyes are shot at your age

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On the FIRST day of Christmas,
My true love sent to me,
A kookaburra in a gum tree.
On the SECOND day of Christmas,
My true love sent to me,
Two snakes on skis,
And a kookaburra in a gum tree.

On the THIRD day of Christmas,
My true love sent to me,
Three wet galahs,
Two snakes on skis,
And a kookaburra in a gum tree.

On the FOURTH day of Christmas,
My true love sent to me,
Four lyrebirds,
Three wet galahs,
Two snakes on skis,
And a kookaburra in a gum tree.

On the FIFTH day of Christmas,
My true love sent to me,
Five kangaroos,
Four lyrebirds,
Three wet galahs,
Two snakes on skis,
And a kookaburra in a gum tree.

On the SIXTH day of Christmas,
My true love sent to me,
Six sharks a-surfing,
Five kangaroos,
Four lyrebirds,
Three wet galahs,
Two snakes on skis,
And a kookaburra in a gum tree.

On the SEVENTH day of Christmas,
My true love sent to me,
Seven emus laying,
Six sharks a-surfing,
Five kangaroos,
Four lyrebirds,
Three wet galahs,
Two snakes on skis,
And a kookaburra in a gum tree.

On the EIGHTH day of Christmas,
My true love sent to me,
Eight dingos dancing,
Seven emus laying,
Six sharks a-surfing,
Five kangaroos,
Four lyrebirds,
Three wet galahs,
Two snakes on skis,
And a kookaburra in a gum tree.

On the NINTH day of Christmas,
My true love sent to me,
Nine crocs a-snoozing?
Eight dingos dancing,
Seven emus laying,
Six sharks a-surfing,
Five kangaroos,
Four lyrebirds,
Three wet galahs,
Two snakes on skis,
And a kookaburra in a gum tree.

On the TENTH day of Christmas,
My true love sent to me,
Ten wombats washing,
Nine crocs a-snoozing?
Eight dingos dancing,
Seven emus laying,
Six sharks a-surfing,
Five kangaroos,
Four lyrebirds,
Three wet galahs,
Two snakes on skis,
And a kookaburra in a gum tree.

On the ELEVENTH day of Christmas,
My true love sent to me,
Eleven lizards leaping,
Ten wombats washing,
Nine crocs a-snoozing?
Eight dingos dancing,
Seven emus laying,
Six sharks a-surfing,
Five kangaroos,
Four lyrebirds,
Three wet galahs,
Two snakes on skis,
And a kookaburra in a gum tree.

On the TWELFTH day of Christmas,
My true love sent to me,
Twelve possums playing,
Eleven lizards leaping,
Ten wombats washing,
Nine crocs a-snoozing?
Eight dingos dancing,
Seven emus laying,
Six sharks a-surfing,
Five kangaroos,
Four lyrebirds,
Three wet galahs,
Two snakes on skis,
And a kookaburra in a gum tree.

Why are so many of the pictures in the profiles ---- pictures of you girls smoking?? YUCK.

Schizophrenia - Do You Hear What I Hear?

Amnesia - I Don't Know if I'll be Home for Christmas

Multiple Personality Disorder - We Three Queens Disoriented Are

Dementia - I Think I'll be Home for Christmas

Narcissistic - Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me!

Manic - Deck the Halls & Walls & House & Lawn & Streets
& Stores & Office & Town & Cars & Busses &
Trucks & trees & Fire Hydrants and...

Paranoid - Santa Claus is Coming to Get me!

Borderline Personality Disorder - Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire

Personality Disorder - You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll tell You Why

Tourette's Syndrome - Chestnuts...F--- YOU! ...roasting on...BITE ME! an open fire...A--HOLE!

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder -Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle
Bells,Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle
Bells, Jingle Bells...

Agoraphobia - I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day But Wouldn't Leave My House

Autistic - Jingle Bell Rock and Rock and Rock and Rock

Senile Dementia - Walking in a Winter Wonderland Miles from My House In My Slippers and Robe

Oppositional Defiant Disorder - I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus So I Burned Down the House
Social Anxiety Disorder - Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas While I Sit Here and Hyperventilate

Tis the season to talk of angels but when you come down to it the state of being one lasts such a short time usually i.e. ten years at most.

So why buy one with marriage when you can just go back to the store and get a new one?

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The day before his wedding this guy decides to play a game of baseball with his buddies. Playing shortstop he gets hit in the penis with a line drive.

He goes to the doctor in a lot of pain, but the doctor tells him there is nothing he can do except wrap it up. So the doc takes a few tongue depressors and wraps it in a splint.

The next night on his honeymoon his lovely wife comes to him dressed in a nightgown. Taking down the top she shows him her breasts. She proudly says "No man has ever touched these, I have been saving them for just you for tonight."

Surprised but not to be outdone, her new husband pulls down his pants and says, "Look at this, honey, still in the crate."

The patient shook his doctor's hand in gratitude and said: "Since we are the best of friends, I would not want to insult you by offering payment. But I would like for you to know that I had mentioned you in my will." "That is very kind of you," said the doctor emotionally, and then added, "Can I see that prescription I just gave you? I'd like to make a little change..."

One night, a father passed by his son's room and heard his son praying: "God bless Mommy, Daddy, and Grandma. Ta ta, Grandpa."

The father didn't quite know what this meant, but was glad his son was praying. The next morning, they found Grandpa dead on the floor of a heart attack. The father reassured himself that it was just a coincidence, but was still a bit spooked.

The next night, he heard his son praying again: "God bless Mommy and Daddy. Ta ta, Grandma."

The father was worried, but decided to wait until morning. Sure enough, the next morning Grandma was on the floor, dead of a heart attack.

Really scared now, the father decided to wait outside his son's door the next night. And sure enough, the boy started to pray: "God bless Mommy. Ta ta, Daddy."

Now the father was crapping his pants. He stayed up all night, and went to the doctor's early the next day to make sure his health was fine. When he finally came home, his wife was waiting on the porch. She said, "Thank God you're here -- we could really use your help! We found milkman dead on our porch this morning!"

A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later:
"Da-ad..." "What?"
"I'm thirsty. Can you bring me a drink of water?"
"No. You had your chance. Lights out."
"Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad..."
"WHAT?"
"I'm THIRSTY...Can I have a drink of water??"
"I told you NO! If you ask again I'll have to spank you!!"
"Five minutes later...
"Daaaa-aaaad..."
"WHAT??!!"
"When you come in to spank me, can you bring me a drink of water?"

I've just seen a russian movie "Ved'ma"="witch" :
http://pix.lenta.ru/news/2006/11/30/vedma/picture.jpg
on the base of our classical story "Viy":
http://www.russiandvd.com/store/assets/product_images/imgs/front/38300.jpg
Perhaps "Viy" can be considered the only russian horror though may be it's mistic like "Dog's heart". The movie "ved'ma"made me a bit curious.I remembered some movies and stories about scandinavian witches, about christian witch persecution in the Middle Ages.I remembered that in Europe in the Middle Ages it was considered that witches should be red haired and with the green eyes of cat .
Something like:http://www.pleasance.co.uk/yp/yfiles/images/witch%20-%20scotsman%20pic.JPG
While in slavic countries it was considered witch must be black haired and black eyed:
http://www.deita.ru/files/Image/news/76055_l.jpg
Or the witch should be an old ugly grey-haired humpbacked woman. In any case witch must be alone person without friends,family,etc.
I tried to find out why there are so different ideas about witch images and I couldnt.
May be it comes from the origin of the word "witch".Well the russian word "ved'ma" has it's roots from the word "vedat' "="to know".As originally they were considered to be ppl who know different drugs recipes, love-potion recipes, different medicinal herb, etc.
Then in the Middle Ages the ppl know knew such things started to be victimized by Christianity.Perhaps the word "witch" takes it origins from the word "victim".
I suspect that red haired ppl were rare in Europe during the Middle Ages thats why if a person had such color of hair he was considered to keep in touch with Satan.As for slavic countries I think the image of dark haired and dark eyed witch comes from the superstition that witch deals with dark powers.
May be someone knows where do such different ideas about witch appealities come from?May you tell me or give me some URL?
I'll be very grateful.

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