General Forum

A Russian and an American are talking:
- When I'm in a good mood I drive a car painted a light color, says the American. When I'm busy or have a lot of troubles, I drive a darker colored car. When I go for vacation overseas, I pick a brightly colored car.
- Things are much easier in Russia, says the Russian. If you are in a good mood, they will give you a ride in yellow car with a blue stripe. If you feel bad, the car will be white and the stripe red. I was abroad only once, and there I drove a tank.

Sent my girlfriend her christmas presents early this year so they wouldn't be delayed by the holiday rush. She has been ill lately so , I thought it would also cheer her up.On the way home from the post office she passed out on the bus and was taken to the hospital. Needless to say, someone grabbed the package and she now has no presents. She was severly dehydrated and is better now, thank God. I just wish someone would have been nice enough to give her the package indtead of stealing it. I just had to biach about it, I feel better now.

I know I'll get the barbs from the peanut gallery, but I'd like to know if any of the East European hosts also are escorts in real life.

Beautiful Girl and so sweet and gentle.Go and see her !!

n/a

The Ten Laws of Golf
=====================

1. The less skilled the player, the more likely he is to share
his ideas about the golf swing.

2. Counting on your opponent to inform you when he breaks a rule
is like expecting him to make fun of his own haircut.

3. The shortest distance between any two points on a golf course
is a straight line that passes directly through the center of a
very large tree.

4. There are two kinds of bounces: unfair bounces, and bounces
just the way you meant to play it.

5. Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must subsequently make
two triple bogeys to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the
universe.

6. A ball you can see in the rough from 50 yards away is not
yours.

7. If there is a ball in the fringe and a ball in the sand trap,
your ball is in the sand trap.

8. If both balls are in the sand trap, yours is in the
footprint.

9. Never try to keep more than 300 separate thoughts in your
mind during your swing.

10. Since bad shots come in groups of three, a fourth bad shot
is actually the beginning of the next group of three.

n/a

Why do all the Filipina hosts pics have their heads cut off or cut in half? Sometimes the head is the best part.

I dont know the logistics of Video Playback. I dont know if there is a minimum and maximum length of time required. I was thinking it would be a great tool for some of the high priced hosts to get seen and get men interested in them. I mean if you are charging 1.99 or up per minute most members would hesitate to take the plunge. Your pics are hot but that does not always translate into a hot video. The lighting could be off. The video slow. Sometimes the pics are skillfully taken and the video is not as good, etc. If you had a short video at 50 cents a minute. Really an advertisement. I would think you would drum up more business in the long run when you were online live. I remember a couple of hosts used this techniques in the past but I dont recall their names. What do you think?

Two guys were in the woods and they came upon a large hole in the ground. Both men wanted to see how deep the hole was, so they threw a large rock in the hole. They never heard it hit the bottom, so they proceeded to throw in an even bigger rock, and still nothing. So they looked around and saw a big, heavy railroad timber. They picked it up and threw it in the hole, and STILL nothing. About 30 seconds later a goat came blazing by and jumped in the hole. The two men sat staring at the hole in amazement, until a few minutes later when a farmer approached them and asked if they had seen his goat.
One man said "Yeah, he just ran and jumped in this hole a minute ago."
The farmer said "That's not possible, that goat was tied to a railroad timber."

n/a

i know this is probably going to sound like a stupid question, but why is it that men are "always" so fasinated with women?

bored bored bored
so bored bored bored
where is everyone???
waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
i cant stand those voices in my head!
go away!!!

If you could only see the way she loves me
Then maybe you would understand
Why I feel this way about our love
And what I must do
If you could only see how blue her eyes can be when she says
When she says she loves me
Well you got your reasons
And you got your lies
And you got your manipulations
They cut me down to size
Sayin' you love but you don't
You give your love but you won't
If you could only see the way she loves me
Then maybe you would understand
Why I feel this way about our love
And what I must do
If you could only see how blue her eyes can be when she says
When she says she loves me
Seems the road less traveled
Show's happiness unraveled
And you got to take a little dirt
To keep what you love
That's what you gotta do
Sayin' you love but you don't
You give your love but you won't
You're stretching out your arms to something that's just not there
Sayin' you love where you stand
Give your heart when you can
If you could only see the way she loves me
Then maybe you would understand
Why I feel this way about our love
And what I must do
If you could only see how blue her eyes can be when she says
When she says she loves me
Sayin' you love but you don't
You give your love but you won't
Sayin' you love where you stand
Give your heart when you can
If you could only see the way she loves me
Then maybe you would understand
Why I feel this way about or love
And what I must do
If you could only see how blue her eyes can be when she says
When she says she loves me

Tonic

I wonder how I should have my cam. Do members want to see face up close when they first enter room and later see body? Or is better to sit not close so member sees body and face when they enter but farther away so they do not see as good? I hope I say this correct. Thanks for help and I hope everyone is happy here today.

Which do you enjoy more, giving or receiving?

does anybody remember a Russian chathost from about 6 months ago, that use to wear a T-shirt with "If you're rich then I'm your Bitch" on the front? just wondering?

Dearest Santa,
We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our
home?
Love,
Marky

Mark,
First, stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting
your ass whipped at school. Second, you don't live in a house,
you live in a low-rent apartment complex. Third, I get inside
your pad just like the boogeyman does, through your bedroom
window.
Sweet Dreams,
Santa

People are human, we make mistakes.
Everyone makes them

grandma just got run over by a raindeer.

n/a

A nun sits with her Mother Superior chatting, and confesses; "I used some horrible language this week and feel terrible about it"
"When did you use this awful language?" asks Mother Superior
"When I went golfing last Tuesday, Mother. I hit an incredible drive that looked like it was going to sail about 250 yards, but it struck a phone line that was hanging over the fairway, and then fell straight to the ground."
"And it made you swear?" asked Mother Superior
"No, Mother," says the nun. "But after that, a squirrel ran out of the bushes and grabbed my ball in its mouth, and began to run away with it"
"I see, and THAT'S when you swore!" said the Mother Superior
"Well, no," says the nun. "You see, as the squirrel was running, an eagle came from the sky, grabbed the squirrel in his claws and began to fly away!"
"And so you swore at the eagle?" asks the amazed elder nun
"Well, no, Mother, not then either. You see, as the eagle carried the squirrel away in its claws, it flew near the green and the squirrel dropped my ball."
"And THAT'S when you swore?" asked Mother Superior
"Well no, Mother. My ball fell on a big rock, bounced over the sand trap, rolled onto the green, and stopped about four inches from the hole"
The two nuns sat silently for a moment, until Mother Superior sighed and said, "You missed the fucking putt, didn't you!"

how will u look when ur older...find out here

http://www-old.cs.st-andrews.ac.uk/~morph/Transformer/index.html

Dear Santa

I wood like a cool toy space ranjur fer Xmas Iv ben a gud boy all yeer

yer Frend, BiLLy



Dear Billy,

Nice spelling! You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How about I

send you a friggin' book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving

your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell!

Santa



* * * * * * * * * *

Dear Santa,

I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and

joy in the world for everybody!

Love, Sarah



Dear Sarah,

Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?

Santa



* * * * * * * * * *

Dear Santa,

I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy

and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do?

Love, Teddy



Dear Teddy,

Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane.

Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid mom, who

rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let me get you

some nice Legos instead.

Santa



* * * * * * * * * *

Dear Santa,

I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your

reindeer outside the back door.

Love, Susan

Dear Susan,

Milk gives me the runs and carrots make the deer fart in my face when riding

in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Leave me a bottle of scotch.

Santa



* * * * * * * * * *

Dear Santa,

What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys?

Your friend, Thomas



Dear Thomas,

All the toys are made in China. I have a condo in Miami, where I spend most

of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking myself silly

and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while losing money at the

craps table. Hey, you wanted to know.

Santa



* * * * * * * * * *

Dear Santa,

Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're awake, like

in the song?

Love, Jessica



Dear Jessica,

Are you really that gullible or are you just a Blonde? Good luck in

whatever you do. I'm skipping your house.

Santa



* * * * * * * * * *

Dear Santa,

I really, really want a puppy this year. Please, please, please, PLEASE,

PLEASE could I have one?

Timmy



Timmy,

That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap doesn't

work with me. You're getting a sweater again.

Santa



* * * * * * * * * *

Dearest Santa,

We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home?

Love, Marky



Mark,

First, stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting your ass

whipped at school. Second, you don't live in a house; you live in a

low-rent apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like the

boogeyman does, through your bedroom window.

Sweet Dreams, Santa

************************

If you are like me, we are always looking for that special cookie recipe to
share with our families for the holidays. This is the one I personally make
on Christmas Eve to be able to deal with the "families"
on this joyous occasion.

TEQUILA COOKIES
1 cup........ of dark brown sugar
1 cup........ (2 sticks) butter
1 cup........ of granulated sugar
4 large...... eggs
2 cups..... of dried fruit, such as dried cranberries or raisins
1 tsp........ baking soda
1 tsp........ salt
1 tsp........ fresh lemon juice
1 cup....... coarsely chopped walnuts or pecans
2 cups......all-purpose flour
1 bottle.... Jose Cuervo Tequila (silver or gold, as desired)

- Sample the Cuervo to check quality.

Take a large bowl, check the Cuervo again, to be sure it is of the highest
quality, pour one level cup and drink. Turn on the electric mixer...Beat one
cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.

Add one teaspoon of sugar...Beat again. At this point it's best to make sure
the Cuervo is still OK, try another cup.... just in case. Turn off the
mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of
dried fruit.

Pick the frigging fruit off floor... Mix on the turner. If the fried druit
gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver.

- Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt, or something.

Check the Jose Cuervo.

Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon
of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven.
Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.

Don't forget to beat off the turner.

Finally, throw the bowl through the window, FINISH the Cose Juervo and make
sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.

**** CHERRY MISTMAS ****