General Forum

where is my alaskian man, missing him, anyone know

Once upon a time, in a land far away a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat, contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle.
The frog hopped into the princess' lap and said:
- Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I am and then, my sweet, we can marry and setup housekeeping in your castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so.
That night, as the princess dined sumptuously on a repast of lightly sautéed frog legs seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled and thought to herself: "I don't fucking think so."

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Local politician visits old folks home, remarks to a 95 year old woman how good she looks.
"Have you ever been bedridden?" asks the politician,
"I have, several times" says the lady, "but I prefer do be done up the arse on the sofa"

1)
“I care more about what’s inside a person
Even if this is true, it’s a lie on the first date. Let’s be honest here: first dates are not about getting to know someone, or making a connection, or finding out “what’s inside a person”. They’re all about snap judgements, surface impressions and crippling rejection. Pretending otherwise makes you look like an insincere douche. So just ogle her in a gentlemanly fashion and tell her she looks fantastic — whether it’s true or not..

2)
“No, I’ve never been married”
This is a rookie mistake, and if “I’ve never been married” is a lie, you’re clearly not a rookie. If the lie works, and she wants to see more of you, don’t you think there’s a point where you’ll have to explain the pale band on your third finger and those three children following you around every second weekend? Wise up, man..

3)
“I love blondes/Asians/amputees”
There are compliments and there are compliments, so keep it vague unless you want to look like some kind of creepy doll collector..

4)
“Of course I have a loaded gun”
Don’t say it if it’s a lie. Don’t say it if it’s true. Don’t say it, period..


5)
“You bet! I’d love to come with you!”
Even if you’re really into her, there are some things no man should sit through. These include ballet, great aunts’ birthdays, drinks-with-the-girls and any film in which Jennifer Aniston appears fully clothed. So don’t put yourself through it. Ask for the date, pretend that you have something on, and arrange to meet for a steak and hotel quickie the next day. Trust us, your self-respect will thank you for not telling this pork pie..

6)
“Sure, I know about wine”
If you don’t know, don’t pretend. It’s better to appear ignorant than pretentious,insecure and ignorant..


7)
“Don't worry, babe. I’ve had a vasectomy”
If things go well enough for you to tell this lie, you’re doing okay. But still don’t tell it. Child support sucks..

8)
“I’d like the steak tartare”
Nobody likes steak tartare. We cook cows for a reason..

9)
“I’m completely over my erectile dysfunction”
The same advice for lie No. 4 applies here: Don’t say it if it’s a lie. Don’t say it if it’s true. Don’t say it, period..

10)
“I don’t have a criminal record... in this state”
Lies with qualifiers always sound suspect, so leave them off if you can help it..

happy mothers day to all the wonderful moms that work on cc , and a special happy mothers day to nastya.

Goodbye my sweet friend. I will miss you lots you alway made me smile!

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if some hosts say they leave why do they keep a photo or two and not delete all their profile?

Two women were playing golf. On the third hole there was 4 men in front of them but about 175 yards down the fairway.

The first woman said "i'll tee off he is far enough away." She hit the drive of her life, like a shot straight down the faraway. She screamed fore at the top of her lungs and as the men turned,one was hit solidly. He was rolling on the ground in pain with his hands between his legs.

She ran to him, apologizing and saying "let me help I am a physical therapist." He protested but she got him to put his hands at his side. She unzipped his pants and began massaging him.

"How does that feel?" she asked. He said, "Great, but my thumb still hurts like hell."

Over the years I have been on webcam sites, chat host seem to prefer married men. Was curious why.

well the host i was seeing gave me the brush off. no big deal except last time i was in romania i didn't change out my money because i thought i would be back. no reason to go back there now, but I have 985 Ron in cash that is impossible to exchange in the USA. Any suggestions? Any Romanian hosts want to make a deal, or any USA guys on the way overseas this summer looking for a great exchange? 985 Ron is about $300 through a bank. I would sell the lot for $225, WAY better than you could get at an exchange in Bucharest....but for me something is better than nothing.

.......with Mickey Rourke!!!!!!!!! I dunno how such a beast can be sooooo sexy but he is just hot as hell!! The funny thing is when he was young and "handsome" i didnt find him attractive at all, but now mmmmmmmmm)))))) I know im a freak lol))

How about a new category? Anime? Might be hard getting them cartoon characters to sign up as hosts, but I'll take Jessica Rabbit and Lois Griffin anyday (provided Lois doesn't talk ... can't stand her voice)

i love it!

Crystaldream...have a wonderful day and dont drink too many pints of guiness ;)
happy birthday carebear
kiss

Thanks cc for all the good years I had here, been a blast, had a lot of fun, met a lot of interested people both members and host, but now time to take a break from here awhile. Anyway, here is a riddle for you to work on your mind.
---A joker who had three mask, one mask look like Bill Clinton, one mask look like Jimmy Carter and the thrid mask look like John F. Kennedy. Yes we know all three mention were United States Presidents of the past and all three were democrats, but there is a saying that these three presidents had two things in common between them, what were they::

Scientists say because of global warming they expect the world's oceans to rise four and a half feet. The scientists say this can mean only one thing - Gary Coleman is going to drown.
-- Conan OBrien

If Harry Potter's so magical, why cant he cure his own eyesight and get laid. A teenage lad shouldnt need a broomstick to cling onto.
-- Frankie Boyle
In politics, if you want anything said ask a man. If you want anything done, ask a woman.
-- Margaret Thatcher
Women have a passion for mathematics. They divide their age in half, double the price of their clothes, and always add at least five years to the age of their best friend.
-- Marcel Achard
You don't know a women till you've met her in court.
-- Norman Mailer

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that goes with it

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. - Robert Bloch

I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.

Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

Murphy applied for an engineering position at an Irish firm based in Dublin. An Australian applied for the same job and both applicants having the same qualifications were asked to take a test by the Department manager. Upon completion of the test both men only missed one of the questions. The manager went to Murphy and said.
Manager: "Thank you for your interest, but we've decided to give the Australian the job"
Murphy: "And why would you be doing that? We both got nine questions correct. This being Ireland and me being Irish I should get the job!"
Manager: "We have made our decisions not on the correct answers, but on the question you missed."
Murphy: "And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?"
Manager: "Simple, the Australian put down on question #5, "I don't know.",
You put down "Neither do I."

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I love women with big nipples. Does anyone recommend someone? thanks for the help.