General Forum
bank queues
a mother takes her 5 year old son with her to the bank during a busy lunchtime.they get behind a very generously proportioned blue singleted truck driver with a pager attached to the back of his shorts.as they wait patiently in line,the little boy says loudly"gee he's fat!"
the mother,furious,bends down & whispers in the little boy's ear that that was a very rude thing to say & he must be quiet.a few minutes pass & the boy,still stunned by the bloke's sheer girth,spreads his hands & announces,"i'll bet his butt is this wide."
the truck driver turns around & glares at the little boy.again the mother gives him a good telling off & tells him he MUST be quiet or he will answer to his father when he gets home.finally the large truck driver reaches the front of the queue & just then his pager begins to emit a loud beep,beep,beep.
truly alarmed ,the now owl-eyed boy yells,"run for your life mum,he's backing up!" :--)
the mother,furious,bends down & whispers in the little boy's ear that that was a very rude thing to say & he must be quiet.a few minutes pass & the boy,still stunned by the bloke's sheer girth,spreads his hands & announces,"i'll bet his butt is this wide."
the truck driver turns around & glares at the little boy.again the mother gives him a good telling off & tells him he MUST be quiet or he will answer to his father when he gets home.finally the large truck driver reaches the front of the queue & just then his pager begins to emit a loud beep,beep,beep.
truly alarmed ,the now owl-eyed boy yells,"run for your life mum,he's backing up!" :--)
That's what it feels like
A husband and wife are getting all snuggly in bed. The passion is heating up, but then the wife stops and says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
The husband says, "WHAT?"
The wife says, "You must not be in tune with my emotional needs as a woman."
The husband realizes that nothing is going to happen tonight and he might as well deal with it.
So the next day the husband takes her shopping at a big department store.
He walks around and has her try on three very expensive outfits. She can't decide. He tells his wife to take all three of them. They go over and get matching shoes worth $300 each. Then they go to the Jewelry Department where she gets a set of diamond earrings.
The wife is so excited. She thinks her husband has flipped out, but she does not care. She goes for the tennis bracelet. The husband says, "You don't even play tennis but, okay, if you like it then let's get it."
The wife is jumping up and down, she's so excited - she cannot believe what is going on.
She says, "I'm ready to go, let's go to the cash register."
The husband says, "No - no - no, honey we're not going to buy all this stuff." The wife's face goes blank. "No honey - I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while"
Her face gets really mad and she is about to explode and the husband says, "You must not be in tune with my financial needs as a man."
The husband says, "WHAT?"
The wife says, "You must not be in tune with my emotional needs as a woman."
The husband realizes that nothing is going to happen tonight and he might as well deal with it.
So the next day the husband takes her shopping at a big department store.
He walks around and has her try on three very expensive outfits. She can't decide. He tells his wife to take all three of them. They go over and get matching shoes worth $300 each. Then they go to the Jewelry Department where she gets a set of diamond earrings.
The wife is so excited. She thinks her husband has flipped out, but she does not care. She goes for the tennis bracelet. The husband says, "You don't even play tennis but, okay, if you like it then let's get it."
The wife is jumping up and down, she's so excited - she cannot believe what is going on.
She says, "I'm ready to go, let's go to the cash register."
The husband says, "No - no - no, honey we're not going to buy all this stuff." The wife's face goes blank. "No honey - I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while"
Her face gets really mad and she is about to explode and the husband says, "You must not be in tune with my financial needs as a man."
RE: That's what it feels like
That's funny, but I would advise against trying it. Unless there is a hospital nearby. :)
Gortensia Sightings
I saw her in Beverly Hills driving the car behind me. She was wearing sunglasses.
RE: Gortensia Sightings
I heard she got married to honda and they are expecting their first child
RE: Gortensia Sightings
i saw her on the tube in London, she pushed past me to get the last seat, she had Harrods bags on her lap.
RE: Gortensia Sightings
We better start plotting these on the map. Who knew we had our own real life jumper right here at c.c.?
RE: Gortensia Sightings
What's interesting about this thread is that 8 months (or whatever) after leaving cc, I'm sure the host is less obsessed about the site's members (whether they had visited her or not) than they are about her.
RE: Gortensia Sightings
Obsessive? To me, it seems more of a tongue in cheek commentary on a well remembered (for whatever reason) host. The thread is certainly more entertaining than many. . But, that's just my opinion. Maybe she will stop by and say hi . Then again, since I do know her, maybe not. :)
RE: Gortensia Sightings
but the members never get less obsessed with making up stories about them. only life they have
RE: Gortensia Sightings
WOW..I just saw her briefly. She was lecturing a taxi driver in Madrid, as we passed them on the way to the Intercontinental Hotel.
RE: Gortensia Sightings
OMG!! What a coincidence.
I was in that cab but I let her have it because she said she really needed it.
P.S. That driver did need a lecture, so it's lucky she came along.
I was in that cab but I let her have it because she said she really needed it.
P.S. That driver did need a lecture, so it's lucky she came along.
RE: Gortensia Sightings
She had a bit part in Watchmen - running down the street with all hell beaking loose. I couldn't see her face, but it was her for sure.
Similar Host Names?
I wonder how often two hosts with similar names get some confusion between the members who see them.
For example, if the name is sweetbabyx i will always think her name is sweetbaby, but maybe there is another host without the x.
Maybe there is no confusion at all because the member sees the profile pic before he comes in, and we normally use our favorite list anyway, but I wonder.
Would the host with name sweetbaby end up knowing or at least talking to sweetbabyx just because of similar names? Or would they hear about each other from members?
For example, if the name is sweetbabyx i will always think her name is sweetbaby, but maybe there is another host without the x.
Maybe there is no confusion at all because the member sees the profile pic before he comes in, and we normally use our favorite list anyway, but I wonder.
Would the host with name sweetbaby end up knowing or at least talking to sweetbabyx just because of similar names? Or would they hear about each other from members?
RE: Similar Host Names?
I dunno about similar host names, but I keep getting caught out due to people with similar member names. Hosts in community chat give me a hard time because I haven't seen them in while (I have never seen them) or because of something I said to them (I have never spoken to them). Very strange to see someone immediately launch into a conversation as if they know you, when you've never spoken to them before in your life.
These days I've figured out what's going on, and I can just give them a gentle reminder that I'm not the member they think I am, and suggest the "correct" name for the member that isn't me!
These days I've figured out what's going on, and I can just give them a gentle reminder that I'm not the member they think I am, and suggest the "correct" name for the member that isn't me!
iNOTanANGEL
Okay. Her profile now includes a second person with no name and that has never been online, at least on her session. The contest is not for a few weeks. The anticipation grows. I believe that it said the new partner wears glasses.
Who will it be? What price will we pay? Sadly, we must wait. :(
Who will it be? What price will we pay? Sadly, we must wait. :(
March 14th
Don't forget ladies, you need to look after your special guy today!
Today is March 14th, which is Valentines Day for guys!
Today is Steak and a Blowjob Day!
(Google it if you don't beleive me!)
Today is March 14th, which is Valentines Day for guys!
Today is Steak and a Blowjob Day!
(Google it if you don't beleive me!)
Well..
Well, although I'm a Romanian also, and I am happy that I was born in this particular time and place, I've never been able to be proud of somebody else's achievements, I've always felt I am a citizen of the world and basically the same as any other person, of any color or shape.
I think that being proud because we belong to a certain group or nation, be it Romanian, American, English, French, German or Surinamese is just a cliche for our ego-s to be pampered. Yes, our ancestors were heroes and some of our felows from the same nation are heroes too, in their own, different ways. But I can be pleased only for what I personally create. Maybe I'm an alien, but, for example, hating a sports team oposite to one's favourite seems sooo childish... lol :)
Elise
I think that being proud because we belong to a certain group or nation, be it Romanian, American, English, French, German or Surinamese is just a cliche for our ego-s to be pampered. Yes, our ancestors were heroes and some of our felows from the same nation are heroes too, in their own, different ways. But I can be pleased only for what I personally create. Maybe I'm an alien, but, for example, hating a sports team oposite to one's favourite seems sooo childish... lol :)
Elise
RE: Well..
I dont think its a sin to have a favorite athlete and to be happy when someone from our country wins. By having a favorite and support him its not to discrimate other people. After all, thats what sports is all about.I have friends from all over the globe, but my country is my country and I am very proud of it and support all victories and achievements by anybody done in name of my country. I dont hate anybody from any other country and I support other people from other countries, its just that we need to support our roots and not forget about where we were born. In comm. chat many times I saw people from other countries talk about romania. I stayed quiet hurt in my heart, but i didnt say a word becuase i know they are wrong and they will talk more bad becuase of ignorance. If you dont suport your own country then none one else will.
RE: Well..
Besides the ego-pampering, I think some people might feel a deeper sense of national identity when it comes to sports and a romanian winning X championship. But it's his/her achievement based on his/her skills, not on his nationality. We should be proud to be romanians based on the character of the romanian nation, and personally I take no pride from this factor. Romania is a very nice country, sadly, it's populated, and its inhabitants feel a common bond even if they don't know each other mostly through sports.
RE: Well..
It refers to the behavior and character of some of the people POPULATING said country.
RE: Well..
While I agree with you we all are connected beyond the boundaries of geography, philosophy, religion or color, it is undeniable athletes and teams are associated with their respective "homes". The supporting of these competitors, from a local club to a continent, has always been a source of pride and , in some ways, provides a certain cohesive effect for that entity.
While there is often great fervor in giving such support, I do not think it is a given that those who do so, are not aware of the higher connection we share. And yes , no matter how much I would like to believe we have made great progress in understanding our universal connection, I am aware there are many who have no interest in seeking the knowledge. For if we all were to know this truth, there would be no wars, suffering or , in a simpler scenario, no mob violence during some football contests. :) Perhaps it is delusional to think all will one day see with a clear mind and heart, but it is dream with prospect. I know I still need work on the issue. Cheers.... :)
While there is often great fervor in giving such support, I do not think it is a given that those who do so, are not aware of the higher connection we share. And yes , no matter how much I would like to believe we have made great progress in understanding our universal connection, I am aware there are many who have no interest in seeking the knowledge. For if we all were to know this truth, there would be no wars, suffering or , in a simpler scenario, no mob violence during some football contests. :) Perhaps it is delusional to think all will one day see with a clear mind and heart, but it is dream with prospect. I know I still need work on the issue. Cheers.... :)
This thread is so funny!!!
It's called sportsmanship. It's entertainment and excitement. I am also truly against riots caused by football fans, violence and wars created by politician and believers. But to take a side in sports is fun. There is nothing wrong in supporting any team or any athlete from any part or country of the world. Its sports! It's just entertainment and there is nothing sinister in it. No need for brotherhood or citizenship of world lectures. I find it needless to say we are all friends and enjoy to help each other without labeling anyone as "stranger." its nice to guide a tourist find a nice spot in my city, or its nice to be welcomed when visiting others' home country. We need a little maturity and understand that to support an athlete is not an agression or offense to anybody. It's just very nice to see someone from your own country achieve his/her goals. Sports are just sports and were created to unify the world so please dont blame sports and athletes, they do the best to represent their country and their best rewards is acknowledgement from people of his/her own country.
RE: as are you...:)
FYI.. "Sportsmanship" relates to the participants. "Spectator or Fan Etiquette", refers to those who observe
For someone who considers the thread funny, you sure spent a lot of time telling us about your philosophy. :P
For someone who considers the thread funny, you sure spent a lot of time telling us about your philosophy. :P
RE: as are you...:)
I understand what you mean but consider this; Sports are played all over the world, most often with no fans . If you play tennis with your friend and no one is watching, does this mean there is no sport in the game? :) "Sportsmanship", a lesson we all learn as children, is between the players. :) Cheers
RE: as are you...:)
and who play the sports when there is no fan watching? The fans themselves! most people practice sports and that's how they become fans. We are fans of sports becuase we love the sport and participate in it as well in some time of our lives and that's call sportsmanship!
RE: as are you...:)
Perhaps you might consider looking in the dictionary. Or, you can remain known as "DUH". That's your choice.. :) Cheers.
RE: MARCH 17th ST PATRICKS DAY
Ah Crystal it is time for your annual pilgramage to get slowly pickled in Guiness. Just remember no matter how drunk you get don't sleep with any leprechauns.
Have a great time.
Have a great time.
RE: MARCH 17th ST PATRICKS DAY
Yes its the time when anyone with a bit of irish in them tests the efficiency of their livers and capacity of their bladders.
BTW If any of you girls dont have a little bit of Irish in you .... I have a solution ....
BTW If any of you girls dont have a little bit of Irish in you .... I have a solution ....
RE: MARCH 17th ST PATRICKS DAY
lol...that brings back to my mind the great Phil Lynott's remarks to his crowd "any of you girl's out there got any Irish blood in you?...d'ya want some?":)))
joke
what do you to if you want to catch a rabbit? . . . stand behind a tree and make carrot noises!
I am in love...
She is beautiful, she has a pretty face, beautiful eyes, long hair, she is tall, long legs, and so young. I can only dream of her all day long. She's so sweet, she won my heart. She never wanted to strip for me, but its ok. I understand her and she knows I tried hard to understand her. She writes me messages to my cc inbox whenever she's online so I can come and see her. She's never too busy or tired. She's always there for me. She doesn't want to depend on me so she says its not time to meet yet. She is studying to be a professional and she says she will meet me after she graduates in 5 years. She just started her university, she's only 18 I am 44. I think I found the love of my life... :-))))
RE: I am in love...
It would seem the art of satire and irony is dead...or at least the ability to recognise it
RE: I am in love...
That's CLASSIC.! Haven't we all heard that one time or another on here? LOL
RE: I am in love...
and I thought virtual was better than real. It's all the same old... Oh well :-((
RE: I am in love...
LOL. Maybe you should get out more where you can meet lots of beautiful women who don't really want you either :)
Happy Birthday
Happy birthday to Sun season. To a wonderful lady and a good friend. I hope your day is very good to you.. huggs and and kisses.
Joke...Dog Story
A guy is driving around the back woods in Freestone County, Texas and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house:
'Talking Dog For Sale '
He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.
The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.
'You talk?' he asks.
'Yep,' the Lab replies.
After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So, what's your story?'
The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.'
'I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.'
'I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.'
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
'Ten dollars,' the guy says.
'Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?'
'Because he's a liar. He never did any of that shit.
'Talking Dog For Sale '
He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.
The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.
'You talk?' he asks.
'Yep,' the Lab replies.
After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So, what's your story?'
The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.'
'I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.'
'I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.'
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
'Ten dollars,' the guy says.
'Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?'
'Because he's a liar. He never did any of that shit.
RE: a Riddle
What's blue and grows?
Dr. Manhattan's dick when he sees Silk Spectre in her sexy outfit.
That's for those who saw WATCHMEN this weekend! The movie rocks!
Dr. Manhattan's dick when he sees Silk Spectre in her sexy outfit.
That's for those who saw WATCHMEN this weekend! The movie rocks!
1 hour
If you had just one hour to be with your favorite host, what would you do and where would you do it?
RE: 1 hour
Damn you. You clarified that before I had time to answer :P
So I would go to a 5 star hotel in her city, order champagne and whatever food she wanted and then spens the hour taking her up the kazooter. She can have the champagne and food either during or after our hour together.
So I would go to a 5 star hotel in her city, order champagne and whatever food she wanted and then spens the hour taking her up the kazooter. She can have the champagne and food either during or after our hour together.
RE: 1 hour
Watching the sun set from a deserted beach on the Big Island of Hawaii, dolphins dancing in the waves, air so clean you can smell the plumeria blossoms from the forest behind you.
RE: 1 hour
Wrapped up in a warm blanket, in front of a cozy fireplace. Drinking hot coco and talking to her and getting to know her as much as possible.
Of course a few kisses would be nice too :)
Of course a few kisses would be nice too :)
RE: 1 hour
take her to my favourite roof terrace in rome, talk about everything, enjoy her beautiful smile, drink wine, watch the sun set over the roofs, kiss her exquisite face, hold her in my arms under the stars, explore each others mind, soul and body, damn i need more than 1 hour ;-)
RE: 1 hour
I don't know what sort hosts you guys see but I'd take her up the kazzooter for the full hour
byebye
yes i know no one will miss me except the obvious, but hopefully someone will know who to blame
RE: interesting questions ;)
If you're a thicko then so am I as I did not really understand it either. I thought it might be because mistletoe sounds a bit like missile toe but I am not sure.
RE: Question for everybody
me- is kangaroo :D but I can hope just two stairs ;) that's my merit :D
A loving husband
A man breaks into a house to look for money and guns. Inside, he finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. While tying the homeowner's wife to the bed the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
While he's in there, the husband whispers over to his wife: 'Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! He's probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years.
I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain..do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how he nauseates you. This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us both. Be strong, honey. I love you!'
His wife responds: 'He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me that been in prison for 15 years, he just escaped, he's gay, He thinks you're cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline.
I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I Love you, too.'
While he's in there, the husband whispers over to his wife: 'Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! He's probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years.
I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain..do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how he nauseates you. This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us both. Be strong, honey. I love you!'
His wife responds: 'He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me that been in prison for 15 years, he just escaped, he's gay, He thinks you're cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline.
I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I Love you, too.'
Make it stop
A young couple are walking home from a date. They take a short cut through a cemetary. A randy mood strikes them both and they have sex right there in the cemetary. A week goes by and the girl is having trouble with her back. So she goes the doctor. The doctor gives her an examine and the girls asks "so, whats wrong?"
The doctor says "I don't know, but its stamped on your ass that you died in 1877".
The doctor says "I don't know, but its stamped on your ass that you died in 1877".