General Forum

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Am looking for hosts with a nice,broad/ round bottoms. Looking for babes in the lower priced levels. Have preference towards asians though any chick is wellcome. Hosts with phones would be nice to talk to while watching them play.

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A very distinguished lady was on a plane arriving from Switzerland
She found herself seated next to a nice priest whom she asked,
"Excuse me, Father, could I ask a favor?"
"Of course, my child, what can I do for you?"
"Here's the problem...... I bought myself a new sophisticated hair remover gadget for which I paid an enormous sum of money. I have really gone over the declaration limits and I am worried that they will confiscate it at customs. Do you think you could hide it under your cassock?"
"Of course I could, my child, but you must realize that I can not lie."
"You have such an honest face, Father, I am sure they will not ask you any questions," and she gave him the hair remover.
The aircraft arrived at its destination. When the priest presented himself to customs he was asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?"
"From the top of my head to my sash, I have nothing to declare, my son," he replied.
Finding this reply strange, the customs officer asked, "And from the sash down, what do you have?"
The priest replied, "I have there a marvelous little instrument destined for use by women, but which has never been used."
Breaking out in laughter, the customs officer said, "Go ahead Father. Next!"

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It has been written here in the forums and recommended by cc's to always go to text chat and ask what you can expect. Sometimes I like to just roll the dice and take my chances. Recently, I have had some bad experiences like that. By the way, it doesn't hurt to go back and ask again, because minds do change. At first this host only would strip in one2one. She was charging around $1 per min, and I dont want to just chat for that money. So i waited several weeks, went back and asked again. Now she is willing to strip in open chat. Today I seen her, and I must say, it was well worth the wait.

Roger

Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist. If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for five years.

The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board looking over an empty swimming pool, and asks the first patient to jump.

The first patient jumps head first into the pool and breaks both arms.

Then the second patient jumps and breaks both legs.

The third patient looks over the side and refuses to jump. "Congratulations! You're a free man. Just tell me why didn't you jump?" asked the doctor.

To which the third patient answered, "Well Doc, I can't swim!"

hey guys and girls let me know if u want my new yahoo id. email me on ccmail pls.
miss u all.
and btw... little promotion - check Vendetta :-D

Meeting you on the net,
Was the beginning of a new life,
I knew you were special right from the start,
I think you felt my feeling.

Each night that we would talk,
And suddenly, there we were,
Like magic, our love started to bloom,
And it grew and grew.

We chatted`til morning light,
Until the dawn was at the window,
We laugh, we cry, we share so much,
Neither knowing what`s in store.

I love the time we spend in chat,
Or talking on the phone,
You are so special to me,
You have become a friend like i have never known.

I needed to say how much i care,
And that i have grown so found
We shared a rare and special love,
A special sort of bond.

Who could have known that you were there,
And the internet brought us near,
I will treasure every moment i live,
And you, i will never forget.

If times get hard and you need an ear,
Or someone to hug you tight,
I will be sitting right here
I`ll hold you tight all night.

And soon, we would meet,
And see our love with a new,
For now, i know, we love each other so,
For that i am thankful for the net.

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IDIOTS AT WORK...
I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed that I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature on the credit card with the signature I just signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully compared that signature to the one I signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they matched.



ADVICE FOR IDIOTS...
An actual tip from page 16 of the HP "Environmental, Health & Safety Handbook for Employees: "Blink your eyelids periodically to lubricate your eyes."



IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD...
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: Many deer were being hit by cars and he no longer wanted them to cross there.

IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE...
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the individual behind the counter for "minimal lettuce. "He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.

IDIOTS IN THE NEWS...
Buffalo Channel 4 News on October 20th,1999 informed its captivated audience that when selling their computer, the best way to erase the files on your computers hard drive is by drilling a hole in the drive its self! "By drilling a hole in the drive its self, you make it impossible for the new owner to get your files." No fucking kidding, idiot!

IDIOT SIGHTINGS...
Sighting #1: I was at the airport, checking in at the gate, when the airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" I said, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know? "He smiled and nodded knowingly, "That's why we ask."

Sighting #2: The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it is safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged co-worker of mine, when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals to blind people when the light is red. She responded, appalled, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?"

Sighting #3: At a good-bye lunch for an old and dear coworker who is leaving the company due to "downsizing," our manager spoke up and said, "this is fun. We should have lunch like this more often." Not another word was spoken. We just looked at each other like deer staring into the headlights of an approaching truck.

Sighting #4: I worked with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the life of her could not understand why her system would not turn on.

Sighting #5: When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told that the keys had been accidentally locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger's side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered it was open." Hey," I announced to the technician, "It's open!" "I know," answered the young man.- "I already got that side."

Sighting #6: I work in a hospital and one day the doctor and I were asking a pregnant lady some questions upon admission to the maternity ward. When we asked her who we should call in case of an emergency, she stated "911".

Sighting #7: My daughter was going over to the neighbors house to visit but didn't want to miss a call from her boyfriend so she took the cordless phone with her. While at the neighbors she wanted to check back at home to see if her younger brother was okay. My daughter then picked up the neighbors phone and dialed our number. While waiting for someone to answer the phone at home, the phone she brought over with her began to ring. She immediately hung up the neighbors phone and answered our phone. There was no one there. She wanted to know who it was who called so she used our phone to call our house. The line was busy. Getting very frustrated she left the neighbors to go home and see who was on the phone. No one was on the phone. My daughter could not figure out what was going on until someone explained it to her.

Sighting #8: As systems manager of an answering service a few years back I had the pleasure of working with an especially ignorant doctor. Our system was trying to fax her messages to her place of business when a message came back informing us her fax was out of paper. When I called her office and told her about this she replied, "Oh, I'm all out of bond paper. Could you fax me some?" I'm right fuckin' on it, Babe.

Sighting #9: I was in McDonalds one time when the lady in front of me ordered a cheeseburger and requested no cheese. Now I don't know about you but that sounds like a fucking hamburger to me.

Sighting #10: Many years ago I worked in a delicatessen. The assistant manager had burnt something in the oven and smoke was pouring from the kitchen area. When the store manager came by and asked why she hadn't opened the emergency fire exit door to allow the smoke to go outside she said, "I thought about it but I couldn't find the key!"

Sighting #11: I was sitting at my University bar with some friends the other day when we overheard a man talking on his mobile phone. He was saying that he wanted to "buy, buy, buy" some shares and "sell, sell, sell" some shares. Unfortunately for him, his mobile phone actually began to ring!!! The laughter in the bar was heard for miles!! Now that's what I call an IDIOT!

Sighting #12: A friend of mine and I were on a little road trip with his wife driving. Everything was pretty quiet when she turned to us and asked, "If you are driving 70mph, about how far would you go in an hour?" Oh yeah, she's a smart one.

Sighting #13: Calling the telecommunication company to inform them my phone didn't work and that when I picked up the receiver its completely dead, the technician said from the other end "Are you calling from the number of the phone that does not work

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i knew a blonde that was so stupid that.......
she called me to get my phone number.
she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said
"concentrate."
she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.
she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.
she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
she tried to drown a fish.
she thought a quarterback was a refund.
she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.
she tripped over a cordless phone.
she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
she asked for a price check at the pound store.
she studied for a blood test.
she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.
when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.
when she took me to the airport and saw a sign that said
"Airport Left" she turned around and went home

What defines a true friend or friendship here on cc.

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Do you like to pry into other people's business? Are you nosey?

There was once a wife so jealous that when her husband came home one night and she couldn't find hairs on his jackets she yelled at him, "Great, so now you're cheating on me with a bald woman!"

The next night, when she didn't smell any perfume, she yelled again by saying, "She's not only bald, but she's too cheap to buy any perfume!"

i wonder who is in that comminuty club, from the post below

http://www.porn-free.org/non-Christian_help.htm

what do you think?

Hey haven't you heard about replying to a person in the same post :P

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so now i can tell to all my friends-members and hosts i back!!!!!!!!i Am happy to it
My new screen name is VIPseXXX hope cya all soon